Dear Puffy Vested Guido…
Dear Whiny Popped Collar, Puffy Vested Guido,
I heard you complaining to a girl about how your on a dry spell and want to get your “dick wet”. Thats cool and all but I don’t think taking a bath in cologne is going to help much. Im sorry that your oddly proportioned body, fake tan and frosted tips isn’t getting you any ass, but truth is you looked and sounded like a peice of shit so chances are thats why girls won’t sleep with you.
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